What Is Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

The first thing a mother or father should realize is that aggressive behavior is common in children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) . The young child suffering from ODD simply lacks the maturity to hold back his impulse to hit or kick. He may actually know that hitting is wrong, but can't control himself in the middle of his anger and frustration. Anger and frustration are major issues for ODD kids. When the defiant youngster gets angry, he is expressing his utter frustration at the lack of control that he has over his world. Something happens that deeply troubles him, but he lacks the tools to express his frustration appropriately. This further frustrates him, and he explodes in anger. He may strike at parents with the only tool at his disposal – by hitting. Growing up is hard work. Many times, kids who face mental health issues and are under a lot of stress go through an aggressive phase. This can be because they have less energy for self-control, or because...

As exasperating as her behavior is, your 3-year-old’s defiance is really about her asserting herself. While a 3-year-old defies her mom and dad because she's caught up in the excitement of her autonomy, a 3-year-old is likely to be reacting to something. When your youngster doesn't comply with a request you've made, what she's really saying is, "I don't like your rules." When this happens (and it will — often), don't be harsh, but do be assertive and consistent. This lets your 3-year-old know that you have established rules that she has to follow, and that mom and dad are in charge. Most 3-year-olds understand the concept of rules, so take time to explain to your youngster what they are and why they're important. Explain, too, what will happen if she breaks them. Be specific (e.g., "If you go into the street, you'll have to play inside for the rest of the day"). Also, enlist your child’s suggestions, because she'll be more a...